Check It Out: Rolling Stones Mag Names 5 Best Songs Ever

*** Rolling Stone Magazines choice for the 5 Best Songs of All Time with music videos.From Denny: I just spent a couple of hours running down some great music video of the Rolling Stones Magazine's choices for the 5 Best Songs Of All Time. They are putting out a special collector's issue tomorrow that has the best 500 songs of all time. Most of it is grounded in the 60's and 70's but some also in the 2000s decade.I parked this special post over at Dennys Art Sanctuary where some history of the making of the songs is discussed:***Rolling Stone Magazine Names 5 Greatest Songs of All TimeTake a look and feel free to put up your choices of the all time best songs in the comment section! :)Photo by Jsome1 @ flickr*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

BP Oil Spill Funny Quotes and Jokes: Cheeky Quote Day - 26 May 2010

And from a Louisiana blogger it has been decided the Bozo Sapien Award goes to first place clown BP for the environmental disaster of the millennium... Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr*** Collected here, from the past month since the oil spill began in April, are all the late night jokes about the BP oil spill, local Louisiana jokes and links to posts with funny videos and political cartoons scorching BP for this environmental mess.From Denny: And the Louisiana joke of the day is two pelicans, drenched in oil, are sitting in the shallow marshes having an early morning conversation. The local shrimpers, their boats chugging through the oil slick, said they overheard one bird say, "Look on the bright side of our environmental disaster. The way global warming is heating up it will eventually raise the sea level so high that it will cover up this whole mess." - riffed off cartoonist Bruce Beattie of the Daytona Beach News-Journal in FloridaAnd the other Louisiana joke of the day that comes to mind is a new Louisiana tourism sign on the Nightly News that reads: "Get free gas. Come to Louisiana. Park on shore. Wait for it. Wait for it. Dip your gas siphon into the next tide as the free oil rolls into shore. Have a great day and thank you for visiting Louisiana." - Denny LyonThese are also the latest political cartoons about the BP oil spill released this week from beloved cartoonists all over the world who are following this news. Thanks, guys!

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Daryl Cagle - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

From Jay Leno:And because of that big oil rig fire down there in the Gulf of Mexico, it's now leaking oil into the gulf at a rate of 210,000 gallons of oil a day. That is the equivalent of 10 buckets of fried chicken.An oil slick the size of Rhode Island is making its way across the Gulf of Mexico. An oil slick the size of Rhode Island — isn't that called New Jersey?On Monday, British Petroleum promised to pay all necessary cleanup costs for this oil spill. And they said they will do it, no matter how much they have to raise gas prices.Well, here's something kind of embarrassing. The government has called off the Safety Awards for Excellence ceremony that was supposed to take place this week, in honor of outstanding safety and pollution prevention. And British Petroleum, the one that was responsible for the big oil spill in the Gulf, was one of the three finalists for the award. I believe the other two were China and the volcano in Iceland.And the oil from that oil rig that exploded in the Gulf of Mexico spewing five times as much oil as first was estimated. When former President George W. Bush heard about this, he said: 'Wait a minute. You mean we have oil here?'Today, British Petroleum said they're doing everything they can to control this leak. Really? Two hundred thousand gallons? That's a leak? The pipe under my bathroom. That's a leak, O.K.? This is a gusher.And the environmental impact from this is unbelievable. They say a lot of birds are trying to leave the area. And, today, Arizona issued a warning — any birds flying in from out of state will be stopped and arrested.According to the top people in the petroleum industry, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico will not affect gas prices. They said, 'They were going up anyway.'According to a recent survey, one in eight people say they will not buy gas from BP anymore. Unless, of course, it's cheaper than the station across the street.Tar balls have started washing ashore in Louisiana. Meanwhile, the slime balls that started the whole thing are still in Washington.BP, Transocean and Halliburton are blaming each other for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. They are all right.These people make Goldman Sachs look responsible, don't they?BP is going to try to stop the leak by pushing garbage into it. Oh, yeah, they haven't screwed up the gulf enough, let's fill it with garbage, too.Well, the latest plan was to cover the leak with another concrete dome, a smaller one called a top hat. Who came up with this idea, Mr. Moneybags, from the Monopoly game? What's next, the giant thimble?Hey, here's some good news. The price of oil has dropped by $12 a barrel. I mean, why buy it when you can just scoop it out of the water, huh?Oh, speaking of that. If anybody needs a 100-ton concrete containment dome, there's one on eBay for 75 bucks.Actually, you know, that stupid idea about using a giant concrete dome and putting it over the leak, well, that didn't work. In fact, experts are calling this the worst use of a concrete dome since they built that stadium for the Detroit Lions.Now they're talking about trying to clog the leak up with garbage, like tires and golf balls. You know, where are the OxiClean people? Why don't we bring them down? Why not use the miracle cleaning power of oranges? Where are those people? Let's get the experts in here.

See Cartoons by Cartoon by J.D. Crowe - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

The three companies involved in the oil spill are Transocean, BP and Halliburton. They're all blaming the other guy. I was stunned. Oil company executives passing the buck. It was just shocking.Congress told BP they can't label this catastrophic failure as an unpredictable and unforeseeable occurrence. See, Congress used that excuse for not catching the financial meltdown, so now they have to come up with their own excuse.British Petroleum said today that if this spill gets worse, they may soon have to start drilling for water.I love this. On the news today, the CEO of British Petroleum says he believes the overall environmental impact of this oil spill will be very, very modest. Yeah. If you live in England!BP has inserted a siphon tube into the well to suck up all the oil from the spill. And they've had a lot of experience in this area, by the way. This is the same tube they've been using to suck the money out of our wallets for the past 50 years.Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.British Petroleum is starting to get a little defensive. Have you heard their new slogan? 'Yeah, like you never spilled anything before.'Well, here's the latest on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. The chief U.S. oversight official for offshore drilling has now resigned. Ironically — you know how the news got out? It leaked.Well, there's now concern that the oil in the Gulf could go to the Florida Keys and up the East Coast, which could be really dangerous. Scientists say the cast of 'The Jersey Shore' can only absorb so much oil. They can't get any slimier.

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Cameron Cardow - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

From David Letterman:You folks been following the big British Petroleum oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? I'm telling you, British Petroleum has put more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders.David Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard At BP Headquarters"10. 'Huh?' 9. 'Happy Cinco de Mayo. 'Nother margarita?' 8. 'We got a nice thank you note from the Toyota people' 7. 'Any way we can pin this on the Times Square bomber?' 6. 'We just got a nice thank you note from the Goldman Sachs people.' 5. 'I hope they get Robert Wagner to play me in the TV movie.' 4. 'One day, 10,000 years from now, we'll be able to look back on this and laugh.' 3. 'Let me tell you something, you can't buy this kind of publicity.' 2. 'Tell everybody it's our free oil giveaway bonanza.' 1. 'Everyone gets a bonus.'This bombing plot here in Times Square is upsetting. Are we more upset about that than the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Which do we hate worse? I think you've got to go with the oil spill. British petroleum, these boobs running this operation, they said: 'O.K., now wait a minute. It's just going to be a P.R. nightmare. What can we do? We'll give everybody a free tank of gas. All you have to do is drive your car right down next to the Gulf of Mexico.'But BP plans to pay for the cleanup. Then they're going to ask for the bailout.But they say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.So it's British Petroleum, or BP. BP, of course, as in broken pipe.Anybody from the Gulf of Mexico area? It's going to be the biggest ecological disaster on the history of the planet. And today, a tourist thought they saw a blowfish in the Gulf of Mexico. Turned out to be a flounder holding its breath.British Petroleum says that they have a plan now to clean up the vast oil spill. You know what it is? Hot tub time machine.How about that oil spill in the gulf? They were going to put down what they called a containment platform, and they were going to lower it into the gulf. But that didn't work. So now, British Petroleum wants to try something else. It's a smaller containment device called the top hat. They get the top hat on the well, and then they're going to get John Wilkes Booth to shoot at it.Let me tell you about 'The Late Show.' It's like a car bomb and an oil spill all in one.Earlier today, the British Petroleum oil executives — the guys responsible for the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico — they testified before Congress. This was great. They were criticized by the same guys who approved drilling in the gulf.But these British Petroleum executives are trying to spin this a little bit. I heard one guy say today that it's a good thing, actually, because now when you open a clam, the hinge doesn't squeak.This oil spill in the Gulf is affecting everybody. In fact, when I went to lunch this weekend and ordered the sea bass, they asked if I wanted it regular or unleaded.This is going to be the biggest environmental disaster ever. You know what that means? More bonuses.Everybody has a different solution for the Gulf oil spill. Why don't they just try jiggling the handle? I went to lunch and had crab cakes. The waiter came over and asked if I wanted leaded or unleaded. The tartar sauce was 80 percent tar.Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea.There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.And tar is washing up onto the beaches — big globs of tar. And people are saying, 'Is that going to ruin our summer at the beach?' No, of course not. You take the big blobs of tar and you use them to hold down your blanket.Have you folks heard about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Here's what they're doing now. They got a one-mile-long suction hose. It was flown down to the gulf on Friday by Superman.And what they're going to do is they're going to suck all of that oil that's leaking into the gulf and pump it up into a tanker. Now the bad news is the tanker is the Exxon Valdez.

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Bob Englehart - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

From Bill Maher:Good news in the oil situation. BP said they found a way to start breaking up their oil slick. The bad news is it involves a toxic chemical called Corexit 9527A. Apparently this is moving us further from a solution and closer to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.Sunday, listen to this, they’re going to try something new. They're going to try what they call a 'top kill.' That's where they shove a fluid that looks a lot like mud down into the well. I hope this works because the next idea involves Bruce Willis and an asteroid.

See Cartoons by Cartoon by John Darkow - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

From Jimmy Kimmel:Oil is still leaking off the coast of Louisiana. Lots of oil. BP, the company responsible for it, has a very good plan. BP is hoping to create a giant vinegar spill to turn the Gulf of Mexico into a delicious salad dressing.Actually, what they're doing is spraying chemicals on the oil to try to disperse it. And some environmentalists say the chemicals pose their own dangers. But the company that makes them points out the active ingredient is the same thing they put in ice cream. BP is trying to get the spill reclassified from disaster to dessert.The BP oil spill turned a month old today. Unfortunately, it has not been potty trained yet.In Louisiana, BP claims that it's making progress with the leaking oil in the Gulf. They're working on a plan to heat the Gulf up to 600 degrees and use it to fry chicken.

See Cartoons by Cartoon by John Cole - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

From Jimmy Fallon:It's rumored that six pages from the script of the 'Lost' series finale have leaked online. BP executives were like: 'Oh my God! That's definitely the worst leak of all time, right?'Well, scientists are predicting that the oil from the BP spill will eventually reach the shores of Florida. So if you hated visiting your grandparents before, wait until you're hosing down their oily bodies after a long day at the beach.Have you guys been following the whole oil disaster? Yesterday, President Obama said: 'Let me be clear. BP is responsible for this leak. BP will be paying the bill.' And BP was like: 'Ah, bailout? Right?'In a new interview, BP's CEO said that the Gulf Coast oil spill is relatively tiny compared to the 'very big ocean.' That's like telling someone who's just been shot not to worry about the bullet because they're really, really fat.

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Larry Wright - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

Funny videos about the BP oil spill:Funny Video: Jon Stewart Sees BP Fixing Oil Spill with Stupid AnagramsFunny Video: Colbert On BP Oil Containment - No One Knows What The Flock They're Doing Funny Video: Stewart Slams Media, BP, And Hypocritical Politicians For Oil Spill ResponseVideo: Colbert on Gulf Coast oil spill by British Petroleum

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Joe Heller - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

Political cartoons about the BP oil spill:Dark Humor: BP Oil Spill Cartoons - 22 May 2010BP Oil Spill Funny Political Cartoons - 15 May 2010Oil Spill Disaster Cartoons - Whats Happening This Week in America - 8 May 2010*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

BP Oil Spill: White House Updated News - 24 May 2010

NASA photo taken of BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico on 19 May 2010From Denny: People all over the world are watching the American government's response to the oil spill emergency and environmental disaster. In the transcript that follows reporters asked a wide range of questions, the majority focused upon who exactly is in charge, who is responsible for fixing the oil leak and doing clean-up and who is to blame.I placed the full transcript up here to give you an idea of just how much information gets homogenized by our media into simplistic sound bites, never telling the whole story. Frankly, too many reporters were focused upon the sensationalism of blame and not enough was focused upon where are we in our fight to battle this oil leak.What it all basically boiled down to was that the government and BP never wanted to really tell the public the hard truth reality from the beginning. The oil industry has never had to deal with this kind of situation at a 5,000 feet depth. There are no contingency plans to deal with this great and unmanageable unknown from the oil industry or the government. Originally, the plans by the government were for a situation like the Exxon Valdez oil spill 20 years ago - dealing with tanker spills. No one took into account how to deal with a ruptured oil well on the bottom of the ocean floor.Like in any disaster there are missteps and misinformation. What is most annoying to the public is how the information from the government, BP and the Coast Guard is disseminated to the media who then filter or edit it to promote their news story slant. Not enough of the right information gets out on a timely basis to the public.Another serious misstep of the government is with local governments. The White House relied too much upon the Coast Guard co-coordinators instead of placing an aide with each state's governor to keep them apprised. Another issue is that the bureaucracy of the federal government is more concerned with operating as they always have and not nimble enough to change gears rapidly when an emergency situation occurs like this oil spill. There is too much slavish devotion to "what we need to look at first that were our original contingency plans before we can field the emergency requests of local governors." Big mistake. This is what fuels voter outrage. And EPA Head Browner didn't help the conversation with all her evasive answers and looking to the future of investigations, research and the like. People want to know where her agency is involved now and the status update on everything from dispersant and its environmental impact and more. We aren't interested in hearing about some future scientific convention.What the Obama administration has gotten right is a more aggressive approach to the detailed hands on every day in this situation. Like anyone in an emergency situation they are busy ironing out the kinks of what functions and what doesn't. Unfortunately, this learning curve has taken a month to achieve.Meanwhile, the public perception is that BP is not paying for the operation when, according to Press Secretary Gibbs, they are paying. I'd like to hear more specifics about this issue as Louisiana residents are especially sensitive about this issue since it affects our economy.Why BP and the government have not appeared to look authoritative in this situation is because they got off to a slow start, allowing BP to run the operational decisions. Under fire politically, the White House has now taken the reins away from BP. As to the current toxic dispersant, it can be noted that this same dispersant BP is using on our Gulf Coast was banned by Britain ten years ago. Read that as BP had a huge stockpile of the stuff and wanted to dump it somewhere and America became the "somewhere." They have a huge stockpile of lesser toxic dispersant just sitting on the Houston, Texas docks and no one knows why they are not using it on the oil spill. Guess that question has been answered: money. What that says to me is BP has an attitude of depraved indifference toward the American people living on the Gulf Coast. Already there are many complaints of respiratory issues as the Air Force sprays some 600,000 gallons of dispersant. Tell us that does not affect air quality along with burning off the oil.Where are the super tankers? Why have they not been employed out in the Gulf to collect and separate the oil, returning the water to the ocean? BP and the government should have mobilized these tankers immediately when the news came the leaks were gushing oil at massive amounts every day.The current efforts in the Gulf are really just possible maybe-they-will-work-but-we-don't-expect-it-to-work scenarios. They are biding their time to satisfy the public and local residents they are trying other means to plug the leak while they await the relief well. The oil industry and the government are betting all their chips on a relief well that will not be finished until August, probably September is more realistic. As it is even the oil folks are not completely certain a relief well will work. To Obama's credit he did order BP to drill TWO relief wells. He also ordered TWO blowout preventers, one as a backup in case the first one failed. Frankly, the oil industry should be doing backups as safety precautions in the first place. What has Louisiana residents so angry is the slow response to gather up the oil as it gushes out until the leak can be stopped. Working on collecting the oil is necessary, as a two-pronged approach to clean up. The other is clean up of the marshes and beaches. Meanwhile, the Army Corp of Engineers dithers while Rome is burning. They are more concerned about what the impact of taking sand from somewhere else and what that MIGHT do to that environment rather than take care of what is under their noses out in the Gulf. Depositing the sand in the Louisiana marshes is needed to soak up the oil from advancing farther into the wildlife habitats.This environmental disaster involves so much coordination of efforts it's mind-boggling. What's getting in the way is the federal government's need to worry about what plans they had in place, examining why they are not working, instead of throwing that off to the side and dealing with creating new plans as they go along working on the emergency. The federal government is far too slow because they want to get everything perfect before advancing the cure. The Gulf Coast can't wait on that kind of plodding mindset. The ocean is on fire folks. You don't stand around and talk about how you are going to handle the next fire when it's time to organize a fire brigade and pass the pails of water and throw them onto the fire. The fed heads think too much about the future needs rather than get practical and deal in the here and now.That said, President Obama does now talk to the five state governors every day, giving them access to him and others in the food chain where they can get needed info in a timely manner. Again, as in Hurricane Katrina, the federal government and the military command structure prevented Governor Blanco from access to needed agency heads to solve immediate problems. She was prevented by agency heads to take people out of New Orleans by bus "because the buses were not air conditioned." Because of that hundreds of people died as the military took over the roads in and out of New Orleans and prevented her from acting. Governor Jindal has run into the same lunacy like the Army Corp of Engineers worrying about environmental impact of removing sand while they know that sand is needed for Louisiana shores desperately. Only the President can break these federal log jams by Presidential orders and he must act quickly. We are already looking at another three months of gushing oil at the rate of over 210,000 gallons a day in the Gulf. When you look at the animated graphic of how the oil spill is growing from the first day you will get a strong visual of what the Gulf Coast is facing.The enormity and impact of this oil spill is beyond imagining. Check out this graphic that follows the oil spill from its inception every day to the present on NOLA.com, a New Orleans site. Talk about make your heart sink when you witness how quickly it is growing and spreading.Track the Gulf of Mexico oil spill movement in animated graphicTranscript of White House Press Briefing*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!