Schwarzenegger sex scandal, Cartoons

From Denny: Now that Anthony Weiner is off the laughing stage for sex scandals - after three grueling weeks of ridicule - there are always the funny Schwarzenegger cartoons lying around on this blog waiting for their debut.



Schwarzenegger (R-CA) sure shocked everyone with his big drama of the discovered love child. (Turns out he has several more, according to actress Jane Seymour.) His wife had to feel doubly betrayed because she had trusted her four children with this housekeeper. Just when you think you have heard it all there is another version of this silly story of sex gone wrong.



Did you know that Anthony Weiner (D-NY) has been offered jobs at Hustler magazine and on Al Gore's new network? After all, if disgraced Eliot Spitzer can become a talk show host on CNN why not Anthony Weiner?

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Social Commentary Cartoons

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Social Commentary Cartoons: "From Denny:  Enjoy these cartoons while they last. The wealthy cartoonists over at Comics.com have all banded together and no longer give embed codes to bloggers for their cartoons. That includes the political cartoonists too.



Sigh.  What!?  No more crazy Palin cartoons or Gingrich.  I might be suffering from cartoons withdrawal soon.  Hopefully, these cartoonists will continue to enable the previous codes like these cartoons.



I guess this can only mean one thing: It's time for me (and you) to learn how to cartoon and do my (our) own silly cartoons. I mean, who has a corner on laughter anyway? We all deserve the right to smiles."

Visual Insights: Whimsical Funny Hats At Ascot Ladies Day

Dragonfly red hat, photo by Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters



Visual Insights: Whimsical Funny Hats At Ascot Ladies Day: "From Denny:  Check out the outrageously fun and whimsically styled hats women were sporting today at the Ascot Racecourse near London on Ladies Day.  It's held on the third day of racing during the Royal Ascot meet and is considered the highlight of the week at the track.



It's sort of like wearing a high class clown suit but everyone admires you, your creativity - and your daring to be the spectacle of public ridicule and laughter -  for wearing such a creation."

Funny Jon Stewart On Weiner Sex Scandal: The Wangover Part 2

From Denny: So why does exhibitionist Congressman Anthony Weiner wonder why everyone is suddenly paying attention to him? Yes, that is the burning media question of the day.



What's more, with all his fellow Democrats piling on, who is left to defend the hapless indefensible Weiner? Well, there is always fellow Congressman Charlie Rangel. Jon Stewart does a great Rangel imitation. Though Rangel does have several good points: "He doesn't go with prostitutes. He hasn't molested little boys. He doesn't do a wide stance in an airport bathroom." Well, yeah.



Of course, this week yet more naked photos of Weiner and his proud "stance" were revealed, photos taken in the House members-only gym locker room. I wonder if those photos were from the security cameras that show Weiner taking pictures of his weener? Talk about strange.

Comics Lampoon Hapless Anthony Weiner, Weird Headlines, Photos

From Denny: This poor schmuck is beginning to look sympathetic. It's like everyone is piling on, OK, dumping on him, everything they are angry about in life. Right now, with a down economy and no relief in sight, that's considerable.



It's like there is this ninth grade mentality that has taken over the media, screaming the crudest headlines in the newspapers, TV and online news. Check out the ridiculous photos of the Weinergate scandal.



Meanwhile, the comics are lampooning his stupid Twitter antics. Sadly, comic Jon Stewart is good friends with Weiner and feels betrayed after trying to defend Weiner.



When the Weiner scandal first broke I figured it was just more toxic politics in an election year and I ignored it. Then it drug on and the media carried it on the nightly news incessantly. I caught a CNN interview with Weiner and knew immediately he was lying and that he had, in fact, sent the photos and they were his photos.



He did not admit it in the interview but rather dodged the questions. It was his body language that gave him away. A few days later he finally admitted out loud what was true. Hey, at least he's a bad liar. That's the good news for a politician.

Funny Stephen Colbert Mocks The Debt Ceiling Angst

Stephen Colbert on the debt ceiling ridicule

From Denny:  Only Colbert would dare to take on the angst riddled politicians and political strategists when it comes to the debt ceiling in need of raising its proverbial roof. Colbert: "Hey, President Bush did it in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2007 and twice in 2008."



He goes on to reveal the hypocrisy of the Republicans in blocking the debt ceiling bill the Democrats were supporting. Never mind it was the Republicans who introduced this same bill. Yes, the Republicans stood up against themselves and voted down their own legislation. Hunh?



Who needs to go to political blogs for the explanation of the truly weird American politics reality show when you can get it from Colbert or Jon Stewart?

State of the Economy, Oprah, College Grads, 2012 Election, Cartoons

From Denny: Today President Obama's political team demanded $60 million from high roller campaign donors in Chicago, to be delivered before the end of June. Uh, there isn't even anyone to face yet in the Republican camp. A little over reaching, don't you think?



2012 Presidential Campaign



But hey, Mitt Romney jumped up and officially announced he is running for president. In case you have followed so many of his flip-flops of where he stands or doesn't stand - on just about any issue - he is running on the Republican side of the political aisle. Not to be confused with a guy not born in Kenya by the name of Obama. :)

Cartoons, Jon Stewart Video: Funny Newt Gingrich 2012 Corner

From Denny:  The ridiculous figure of 67-year-old Newt Gingrich - running for any political office or standing at the marriage altar - is tailor made for the late night comics and the cartoonists. Newt Gingrich lampoons and mocks himself every time he opens his mouth.



His latest gaffe has been trying to explain what he is doing with a $500,000 dollar credit account with the jeweler Tiffany's. Easy way to funnel bribe money for a presidential candidate? Does make a person wonder. But then he is married for the third time to a woman 23 years his junior - so that explains all the necessary baubles to keep her distracted from whom she is married to every minute of the day.



What is more striking is how the Republican presidential candidates are much too quiet about Newtie's jewelry account. Could it be they are also guilty of the same offense? Does make a person wonder about that too.

Funny Late Nite Jokes, Video, Cartoons: Bin Laden Porn Stash, Navy Seal Raid

Comic Conan O'Brien 

From Denny: When America catches and kills off a long hated terrorist what is there to do but to make tasteless jokes about it? The late night comics are in full laughing mode, mocking the insanity. Of course, now, what we will do for macabre entertainment here in the West?



The speculation is already on in the military, intelligence and comedy communities - sometimes these guys really do echo each other in the most spooky ways - as to who takes over as Bin Laden's harried replacement. Colbert adds his funny voice to the world journalists, showing the possible replacement for World Terrorist.

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny End Of The World Cartoons, Late Nite Jokes, Funny Videos

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny End Of The World Cartoons, Late Nite Jokes, Funny Videos: "From Denny:  Like any responsible journalist I was waiting to make sure the end of the world did not arrive so I could report on it. Now that the end of the world has been rescheduled by an 89-year-old senile pastor until 21 October 2011 all news personnel are free to make mock"

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Relationship Issues Cartoons, Remember Your Special People Memorial Day

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Relationship Issues Cartoons, Remember Your Special People Memorial Day: "From Denny: These cartoons will really get you thinking about your current - or, uh, er, past relationships. It sure takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, doesn't it? A little light humor based off reality is just the ticket for a way to ease into a long holiday weekend...







Have a great Memorial Day holiday, chill out to shed yourself of some stress, enjoying some time with family and friends. Be sure to lift your glass to toast those who came before us, sacrificing their lives for our freedom during war time or those who sacrificed as good friends to help keep us balanced in the mundane places of life. Take time to remember the best people in your life and celebrate them this special holiday."

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Cartoons: Its All In Your Odd Perspective

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Cartoons: Its All In Your Odd Perspective: "From Denny:  This funny cartoonist. Dave Blazek, makes us laugh in his 'Loose Parts' corner of the funny world. Take a peek inside this guy's mind."



Those new spending habits of the sprayed cockroaches that left your house and moved uptown:



 





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Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Bin Laden Conspiracy Theory

Cover via Amazon

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Bin Laden Conspiracy Theory: "From Denny: The comedians have figured out how to help President Obama fix his relationship with Pakistan. The obvious cure? Admit that Osama Bin Laden really is not dead. Hey, that's a novel idea.



The best reason for saying Bin Laden is actually still alive is because it will help defense spending. 'Why risk bursting The Terror Bubble?' asks comedian John Hodgman. 'After all, it's our last bubble' and the economy might be in trouble if we take a baseball bat to it is the subtext.



Wondering how we could start such a Bin Laden rumor, Hodgman reminds us we are the country so capable we put a man on the moon. He says we are also the country that created rumors we did not put a man on the moon. Ain't America great?"

Funny Jon Stewart Disses Pakistan On Hiding Secret Helicopter Tail

Jon Stewart 

From Denny:  Stewart lampoons Pakistan on their incompetence or their lying about the whereabouts of Bin Laden. Either way they lose. Either they were stupid or they were involved up to their proverbial eyeballs. OK, Stewart mentions that reference in the cruder terms of Man Speak that will have you laughing till your sides hurt.



Petulant Pakistan thumbs their nose at America and says they will keep their play toy helicopter tail full of sensitive technology the Chinese paid them to procure so it could be reverse engineered. Hint to the Chinese: You lose. It's probably a huge freaking lie in the first place and they wanted to infect your computers just like Iran. That calls for a real Hehehehe. Oh, well, all's fair in waging cyberwar.

Dennys Funny Quotes: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert Lampoon Gov. Schwarzenegger Sex Scandal

Image via Wikipedia

Dennys Funny Quotes: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert Lampoon Gov. Schwarzenegger Sex Scandal: "rom Denny: Stewart claims The Snark Fairy anonymously left him the comedy material on his desk, depicting 'Ah-nold' in all his glorious movie posters. Stewart is his usual irreverent self as he debates the difference between a child's game of pin the tail on the donkey or pin the balls on the Schwarzenegger.



And then there's the Colbert take on the sex scandal news... Colbert is convinced you tune in to his show for him to tell you how you feel about these scandals in the news. After all, it's his duty to think for you about such important matters. He says 'at the rate Arnold is going he is making John Edwards look like father of the yea"

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Satire From The Onion: Obama Refrains From Obliterating Human Race

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Satire From The Onion: Obama Refrains From Obliterating Human Race: "From Denny: With the Republicans unintentionally doing The Onion's job for them in the satire department it doesn't take much to write the comedy these days. The GOP is on The Implosion Trail politically with their latest ideas about 'health care.' They are committed to Rep. Paul Ryan's ridiculous health care legislation when 90 percent of the country hates it. Yet the GOP is dug in, stubbornly refusing to budge.



It's always something with this not so bright crowd. After they view their poll numbers in the toilet these guys still insist upon flushing again and again. It boggles the mind. So is it any wonder The Onion is dancing on their heads whenever they criticize Obama? Take a look as The Onion reads you the week's headlines:"

Funny 2012 Election Politics, Obama, Bin Laden Cartoons

President Obama

From Denny:  When it rains it pours, goes the proverb. It applies to weather these days from the Spring snow melt-offs flooding the American Midwest to the South to the frenetic weirdo politics of 2012 presidential campaigning.



Mississippi River flood



I live in south Louisiana in Baton Rouge, a large city just south of the Morganza Spillway. The Army Corps of Engineers let open a number of gates to flood 18,000 acres of farmland and small towns. They hoped to save two of the largest population centers that are each a large port:  the capital city of Louisiana, Baton Rouge and the largest port, New Orleans.



So far the drought conditions in Louisiana have contributed to keeping the earthen levees strong enough to hold the strong Mississippi River while it pushes to change its course. Millions of gallons of water per minute are straining to scour the river bed and the levees as the river challenges its boundaries.



At present the estimated damage economically is about $2 billion due to the flooding.  The flooding prevents planting crops that feed the nation.  The flooding prevents port traffic on the River that slows down or prevents the chemical plants, the oil refineries and farms from delivering products.



Osama Bin Laden death 



Speaking of boundaries - it's that segway thing - Bin Laden wore out his welcome on the national stage a decade ago and has been hunted ever since. Finally, this president and his intelligence community found the rat, set the trap and dealt with him and his enablers.

Funny Donald Trump On Obama Birth, Royal Wedding Cartoons

From Denny: Since Blogger had hacking - oops, maintenance - issues this entire week and we poor pathetic hungry bloggers were starving while waiting to post... Well, let's play catch up on the humor opinions! First off, The Crazy Donald Trump brings lots of national color to the 2012 presidential race as Captain Outrageous. And here we all thought Ol' Newtie Gingrich was vying for that dubious title. The Republicans sure do enjoy their fair share of weirdos and loud mouths.



This week Newt Gingrich announced he was joining the presidential race - and did so on Twitter. Everyone seems amazed an old dog could learn a new trick or two. Aww, come on, he's just copying Sarah Palin. Newtie never did do anything new. After all, he's a history professor who tried desperately to unseat a president AND a vice president in order to replace them when he was Speaker of the House. What is it with this guy? Is he addicted to the promise of power just out of his greedy grasp?



Speaking of the power Gingrich wishes he had - and the promise of being king too - United Kingdom William and Catherine's royal wedding was beautiful and under stated. Of course, the complainers are already calling her Your Royal Blandness because she tries hard not to cause embarrassment to the country - unlike some of the other royals.



I like her just fine so far. I'm sure she will figure out her niche just like any other political wife and work her arena until she becomes a polished expert. As a royal she has a life time to perfect it with "on the job" training. Must be nice to realize you can't get fired. Guess Donald Trump will just have to stand in the corner. :)



The Donald and "The" Birth Certificate:

Dennys World of Quotes: Work and Unemployment Quotes

Dennys World of Quotes: Work and Unemployment Quotes: "Work and Unemployment Quotes



We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines that put men out of work, they have the talent to put those men back to work. - President John F. Kennedy



Unemployment diminishes people. Leisure enlarges them. - Mason Cooley



When I quit working, I lost all sense of identity in about fifteen minutes. - Paige Rense



An 'acceptable' level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. - Anonymous



The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. - Slappy White



Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden. - Orson Scott Card



We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. - Anonymous"





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Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Video: Colbert Claims Obama Takes Credit for Bin Laden Death

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Video: Colbert Claims Obama Takes Credit for Bin Laden Death: "From Denny: Only satirical Colbert could sound outraged about the death of a terrorist and how he was buried in proper Muslim tradition and sleeps with the fishes now. Colbert says he is 'outraged and he is not the only one whose rage is out.'



He goes to Fox News clips of various talking heads upset Obama was respectful of Bin Laden's body. Colbert suggested they basically 'bring back the body, stuff it with candy, and let Mexicans swat it with a stick.'



Colbert via Glenn Beck goes on to discuss how President Obama received a nine point approval rating bump from the news Bin Laden is dead. To hear Glenn Beck tell it, George Bush or even a simple shoe that ordered the Bin Laden mission - they both would have gotten the approval bump. A shoe? Guess Glenn Beck doesn't think too much of his one time hero, George Bush 43. Of course, Colbert wants to know if that shoe is a Republican."